Father’s Day
Father’s Day. The last year, I’ve had a bit less time to spend with my kids though my satisfaction with my professional life has been a lot higher. In a modern society, where we spend enormous amounts of time at work, and despite our efforts and viable other options to commuting, we effectively reduce weekday contact with those that mean the most to us to a few hours a day at best. Even so, I recall recently reading a study that indicated that we spend 80% of our total lifetime contact with our kids by the time they are 18. It started me reflecting on how little time I have left with my teenagers as one is now at college and the other two are entering the home stretch of time with me. Even now, the time we spend with them is limited as they are with their friends.
I saw a list of Father’s Day facts from Pew Research that shows men spend more time in “childcare.” I have found myself reflecting how I can use the limited time I have left while my kids are in or close to home. I believe my opportunity with my kids is to love them and prepare them to be confident, independent and responsible in life. For me, it’s now about what impact and preparation can I uniquely give them. I, of course, feel a deep accountability to provide for them, in order to support their ambitions and talents but also, there is some deep need to produce. Second, I think of the activities I can do with them that both build and mature our bond and give me a chance to pass on some things, confidence in your body and ability to develop it, how to relate to and invest money(at least my perspective), a passion for adventure and travel, that risks are OK to take.
Last, I think about what experiences can I and their mom and I expose them to? People I respect, businesses that are well run, mentors and teachers and skills. Travels to Ecuador, School of Mines camps, how to work in a restaurant, exposure to people in their career interests; and how to expand their world beyond our own. I don’t imagine any of that is terribly unique, but is deeply so to me. Maybe last, and the biggest effort is to be myself, and not try to play a role; kids see your flaws and “ism’s” so easily any way. But one thing is certain; I absolutely milk the chances to influence their lives in a world where you have so little control over what comes into their lives in hopes of developing their own judgment and courage to seek a beautiful life.